Merry Christmas :-)

It's been a while since my last post, and I don't really have any confessions today, so I figured I would just make a quick post to keep my readers updated. Well, Christmas break is finally here, thank God. I thought this semester would never end. It started off good, but then it made a sudden turn and went totally downhill. This was a tough semester, what with me taking dance classes 4 days a week and having my other classes plus my few music classes, I was definitely staying busy. On top of all my academic stuff, I was also preparing for my first Christmas show at the Nathaniel  Center with Opera Leggera. That just finished up on Saturday, and even though I had a lot of fun with that show, I'm glad it's over and I can take a break for a couple weeks.

So, Christmas is today. I have to admit, I can hardly believe that 2011 is almost over. It seems like only yesterday that it was January and I was counting down the days till my 21st birthday. Now the year's almost over and soon I'll be 22. Wow... time sure does fly. I can only hope that time will go this fast next year, since I'm eager to go off on my trip to England and Scotland next summer, plus I've got my audition for Sam Houston in February some time (yeah, I won't be going to Sam in the spring like I planned, but I am definitely planning on going next fall) plus, Opera Leggera is going to be doing a show in June that I really would like to be a part of, so there's that to look forward to. All I know is I want to get out of Kingwood and go to Sam. I'm tired of being here. It gets harder and harder to stay positive these days, especially with a new year coming up. I know I should be excited. After all, a new year means a new start. But, after the year I've had in 2011, I'm afraid of what 2012 will bring. I know I can't predict the future, and I'm not going to try, but something tells me that 2012 is going to bring change with it. Lots of change. Whether it's going to be good or bad changes, or a little of both, I'm not sure yet. But I do know that next year there's going to be some changes.

Honestly, I feel like I need a break from bad stuff happening. I mean, come on; my dad has been without a real job for a year, I'm having to push my transfer to Sam Houston back by a year, I'm single while it seems like everyone I know is off getting married and starting their lives, and I just feel like I'm never going to get anywhere, like my life will never begin. It's hard to say exactly all that's been on my mind lately. People ask me all the time, "How are you?" and of course, my response is usually "I'm good" or something like that. But the truth is, I'm not good or okay, or fine. And this Christmas, I just can't seem to get myself into the Christmas mood. I feel like something's missing, like something's off. I have a good idea of what it is, but I don't really want to talk about that now. It's something I'm not ready to talk about yet, not really to anyone. I've talked a little about it to my best friend, Cassandra, but I haven't really talked in depth about it. I'm afraid to. I'm afraid that if I tell her or anyone else, I'm afraid they will look down on me and judge me. Right now, I just need to know that someone is there for me whenever I need to talk, and Cassandra has been that one person for me lately.

But, back to Christmas. Yep, today is Christmas. So far, we haven't done much at our house. We ate breakfast (my mom made her traditional Cherry Cheese Coffeecake. Now THAT is good!) and we went to the Christmas Day service at church My sister, her baby Caleb and her baby daddy are staying with us for a while (well, Mike (that's the baby daddy, by the way) he's leaving I think tomorrow some time. He only came for a few days. My sister, however, has been staying with us for the last few weeks and I think she'll be with us for another week or 2, I'm not totally sure.) Anyway, because of 3 extra people in the house, the past few days have been crazy. This situation is not ideal, not at all. Mike isn't family. He and my sister aren't married, but they have a child together. To me, he is an outsider, someone who I don't trust, and I do not for one second consider him as part of our family. So, having him and my sister, who I don't get along with at all, has not exactly been my idea of a good Christmas. Even this morning, when I woke up and we started opening a few presents (we still haven't really opened all our presents yet, and right now it's almost 1:30 in the afternoon. Caleb has been sick for the last few days and he was not in the mood to be opening presents this morning) when I saw Mike, I honestly wanted to punch him in the face and kick him where the sun don't shine. I can honestly say I hate him, and there are not that many people in this world that I truly hate, but I hate him. I guess it's because he has (in my opinion) ruined my sister's life, forever.

True, I'm not close with my sister. I never have been. She and I are so different, and not just in age (my sister is about 30-something, as is my brother Jason). We are two totally different people, and our personalities definitely clash. She is a lot more abrasive than I am, more brash and she really doesn't care if she hurts other people's feelings by what she says or does. In case you can't tell, the topic of my sister is a very sensitive one, a topic that I generally don't feel comfortable talking about to people, because usually when I do talk to people about my sister, I get very angry or start crying or both. My issues with my sister go a lot deeper than what I can possibly express in words in this blog. I have honestly considered perhaps going back to therapy to try and deal with this issue with my sister, but I can't afford that, so for now I'll just have to hope that maybe something will change. In the meantime, all I can really do is try not to talk or think about my sister to anyone. This is another one of those topics that I just don't feel like anyone really understands about me.

Sorry about that. I kind of went off on a tangent there (or as Mr. Whatley would say, chasing rabbits) but I'm back now. So, while people up in the northern states are enjoying a white Christmas right about now, here in Texas we are enjoying a WET Christmas, haha! Yeah, it's been raining pretty hard the last few days, but because we had that massive drought this summer, we need all the rain we can get, so no one's really complaining. Anyway, I think I've talked enough for this post. And so, my dear readers, I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas :-) until next time, ciao!

Confession #10: Christmas is my FAVORITE holiday :-)

So, as you all probably already know, tomorrow is the first day of December. I don't know about you, but I'm EXCITED!!!! :-) There's so much that's going to be going on in December; the dance concert, the Chamber Singers concert, and then... FINALS *shudders* ugh, just the thought of finals makes me feel sick. But then, once finals are over, that means I'll get a break and by then I'll hopefully have found a job of some kind. At this point, I'm so desperate for money, I think I'd take ANY job. I need to start earning money for the England and Scotland trip next summer, and I'm basically broke now. So yeah, let's hope that I find a job and that my dad finds a job too. Sure, he's working part-time now as a janitor at our church, but mom is still working full-time and we're still struggling financially. But, I don't want to talk about gloom and doom. I want to talk about CHRISTMAS!!!

My two favorite things about Christmas are all the colorful lights and, of course, all the amazing and fun music. I think it's safe to say that after Broadway songs, Christmas music is my favorite type of music. There's so much of it! And it's all so fun to sing. I love everything about Christmas; the decorations, the tree, the lights, the music, giving to other people, the presents (oh God, I sound like such a little kid... Eh, I don't care, haha!) everything! I just love Christmas. I have so many good memories of Christmas. My family has a few traditions that we stick to every year, and as I've gotten older and as the years have gone by, I've come to appreciate them a lot more now than I did when I was a kid. Every time we take out the decorations and put up the tree, every single decoration and ornament we have has a fond memory for me attached to it.We still have a lot of the decorations and ornaments that we've had ever since I was a little kid, which always takes me on a lovely trip down Memory Lane.

Funny... I know I'm only 21, but I feel a lot older than that some times. I can't explain it, but when I look at kids these days, or look through my Memory Box that has things in it from when I was little (my parents made each of us kids' a Memory Box, that has all kinds of paraphernalia from when we were all little) I feel so old. I know, I know; everyone out there who is 30 or over is going to want to hit me when I post this, saying how I feel so old when I'm just 21. But, I feel like that sometimes. It's weird. Anyway, back to talking about Christmas music! There's a couple songs I want to share with y'all :-)

Christmas is often considered a very romantic holiday, and I think that's definitely true. Someday, I'll have someone special to spend Christmas with (well... I already know EXACTLY who I would love to spend Christmas with, but that won't be happening...) But, until the day I do find my special someone, I'll just keep right on dreaming and singing my heart out. Now, because there are so many great and amazing Christmas songs out there, I'm only going to put a few of my favorites up. Trust me, I have A LOT MORE favorite Christmas songs than just these ones, but it would take forever for me to post them all. Okay, well, enjoy the music! :-) Until next time, farewell, my dear readers!

Okay, so, there are only a few songs out there that can make me cry, but this one never fails to make me cry.

Confession #9: Someday, I will find "Someone Like You"

So, I had somewhat of an awkward moment on Thanksgiving this year. The only family we have here in Texas is my brother and sister; the majority of our family lives in Michigan, and the rest are scattered everywhere else. So, naturally, we go to my brother's house for Thanksgiving. My sister comes, and this year she brought her baby boy, my nephew Caleb and her baby-daddy, Mike (yeah, they aren't married. and don't get me started on how much I hate this guy, because I have a very strong opinion of him.) Anyway, my brother is married (has been for a while now) and he and his wife, Trisha, have 3 kids; two girls, Addison and Peyton, and a little boy, Weston.

Now, Addison and Peyton, for whatever reason, absolutely love it when I come over (which isn't often anymore, since I'm busy trying to have my own life and being a full-time college student) and this time was no exception. After dinner, Addison (she's 8 I think) decided that it would be a good idea for us all to say what we're thankful for. Everyone in my family gave the traditional "I'm thankful for" answers; family, health, children, etc. I personally wasn't really thankful for any of those things. Truth be told, I'm thankful for a lot of things, but what I'm most thankful for is my friends, family (even if they drive me nuts sometimes) but I'm especially thankful for music, dance and theater. But, of course, since no one in my family does any of those things, none of them really understand how much music, dance and acting means to me. So I kept my mouth shut on those.

When it came to my turn (I was last. Go figure) I tried to avoid having to say anything altogether. It was then that Addison decided to suggest (or rather, blurt out) something that I might be thankful for.

"Are you thankful for your boyfriend?" She asked. My response to that?

"No... stop reminding me of the things I don't have that I wished I did" and I quickly downed the rest of my iced tea, wishing that it was some kind of alcoholic beverage so I could drown my sorrows and forget that I'm 21 and single.

See, my problem is this: I know lots of guys. But... the ones that I do know are either my ex, have a girlfriend, are gay or are married already. And the one guy that I DO like is a guy that I can't have. I know it seems like all I do is complain about being single, and I know I should be content with where I am right now, be content with what God has given me right now, blah blah blah blah. I know all that, don't think I don't. It just hurts, a lot more than people think it does. Everyone I know is in a relationship. Everyone I know is happy. I'm not. I'm neither in a relationship, nor am I happy. I may seem happy, and some days I am happy. But most of the time, I'm not. I just have to pretend, or people will start to worry, and I can't have that.

Anyway, this one guy that I have absolutely fallen head-over-heels for is, in my opinion, THE PERFECT GUY for me. But, I can't have him. I don't want to go into all that; it's so much drama, and to be quite honest, it's really complicated. And when I say complicated, I really do mean it's complicated. All I will say, is someday I hope to find someone exactly like him, because he's just so... perfect. He's the kind of guy any girl would be lucky to have. And, I'll say this... the girl that does have him? I hope she knows just how lucky she is to have him. She better know exactly just how lucky she is to have a guy like him. And if she doesn't know, she doesn't deserve him. That's all I'm going to say about that.

So, here's the song for my post. It's a song by a female singer named Adele, and it's called "Someone Like You". I think the song will explain itself.

P.S. I've started choreographing a dance for this, but I don't think I'll do this one next semester for the Spring dance concert. I've got another dance in mind for that. Well, enjoy. Until next time, farewell, my dear readers.

Confession #8: I wish I could meet an "Angel"

This semester has been really hard. Actually, this YEAR has been hard. Not just for me, but for my family. My dad has been unemployed for a year now. My grandma's brother, my uncle, is dying of cancer. My mom works full time, and even though dad has thankfully been giving a part-time janitor job at our church, we still struggle with money problems. I go to school full time and am looking for a job in order to pay for my trip to England and Scotland next summer. And while I do have a lot of good things going for me, at the end of the day, I am faced with the cold, hard facts of reality and some days it's just feels like more than I can handle. Honestly, I feel like I shouldn't have to deal with half the crap I'm dealing with. But, I wasn't exactly given a choice, so I just deal with it. Sometimes, I just have to hold back the tears, smile, laugh and pretend like everything's okay. Sometimes, that's the only way I can get through the day. Every day, people ask me "How are you?" or "Are you okay?" And usually, I answer the same way every time: "I'm okay". That's what I tell people. And it's the biggest lie ever told. But I hate bothering people with my problems. I always feel like I burden to others. Besides, everyone has their own problems to deal with. Why bother them with talking about my problems too?

Lately, it seems no matter what I do, whether it be in music or dance or acting, I'm never good enough. For anyone. Not for my choir director, or for any of the other students in the dance department, not for any of my friends or family. No one. I'm just not good enough for anyone it seems. It's never enough. What I do is never good enough. I'm never good enough. I just wish I could do something right for a change... Sometimes, I even wonder if anyone would even miss me if I was gone. Would anyone even care? Would anyone even notice if I was gone? And if anyone did notice, would it make any difference to anyone? Sometimes I wonder if I just left one day, and didn't tell anyone where I was going, would anyone even try to find me?

I wish I could meet an angel. I think an angel would be a good friend to have. An angel would be a great listener. And not only would they listen, but they would also be able to help me, too. An angel would makes things right, because angels can do miracles. And I could really use a miracle, or two, or three, right now. Anyway, this weekend is Thanksgiving break. I won't have to go to school on Thursday or Friday, which means I can sleep in and catch up on school work. I've got some papers for my dance classes that I have to write. I'm sure I'll post more during the weekend. Until then, farewell, my dear readers.

Confessions #7: "My Heart's a Stereo", I've got "Moves Like Jagger" and Other Random Confessions

So it's been a while since my last confession, and so I'm going to post a couple different things in this post. To start off with, let me give you all a brief synopsis of what's been going on lately. It's November, which means the semester is more than half over, which for me means boatloads of homework and papers to do, along with several songs that need to be memorized for my voice jury, and I'm in 4 dances this semester, so there's rehearsals for that AND I'm doing a Christmas show at the Nathaniel Center, so there's rehearsals for THAT too. Good grief, it never stops! But at the end of the day, I love the insanity, hahaha :-)

Last week we had auditions for All State, but unfortunately I didn't make it, so I won't be going to San Antonio in February. I have to admit, I was really upset when I found out I didn't make it, and I'm still pretty depressed about it. But I've decided to try and look on the bright side. Also, I just sent in a job application for AMC Theaters and I'm hoping to get this job so that I can start working soon and save up for the trip to England and Scotland next summer. See, this is where the bright side of not going to All State comes in; while everyone else is in San Antonio spending their money, I'll be making money (if I get the job that is *crosses fingers*). Anyway, that's just a brief overview of what's been going on with me.

And now, some confessions! Haha! Oh! Before I do that, can I just say... WOW! Since my last post ("I'm in love with the perfect guy... I just "Haven't Met You Yet") I've had so many page views! Usually I don't reach 100 pages views that fast, but I have! It's amazing! And it's all thanks to you, my dear readers :-) Thank you to everyone who reads my blog! You guys are the best! :-) Okay, time for confessions!

So, if you've read my other blogs, you've probably noticed a theme in all of them: music. In all of my blogs, I share music videos and song lyrics. Why? Because I love music. It's who I am. I love performing, dancing, acting, all of it! And this is where my first confession comes in: "My Heart's a Stereo". The heart is generally seen as the source of all emotion and life, but for me, life doesn't just mean living, breathing and being alive. It means music. For me, music if life, and life is music. Therefore, this song is PERFECT to describe me. Not only is it a fun song (and Adam Levine sings in it. Can you say, sexy? Haha :-P) but it also talks about how the heart is a stereo that plays music. As I've said before, I believe in using songs to say things. When words fail, music speaks (quote by Hans Christian Anderson) and this for me is very true. So, if you want to hear what my heart is saying, turn it up and listen to the music :-)

Okay, next confession. No, I don't really have moves like Jagger, but I do love Maroon 5 (once again: Adam Levine = sexy. I'm just sayin, haha!) and this is just such a fun song that I just had to post it on here. Nothing really deep about that. Okay, moving on. Here's some random confessions!

Sometimes I wish I was a kid again... A scrapped knee is a lot easier to fix than a broken heart.

Life was easier when boys had cooties.

Music is my escape; from all the lies, all the drama, all the confusion, and all the hurt. Music is my escape from reality.

I'm not afraid to love, I'm afraid of not being loved back.

I may not be perfect, but I'm always me.

I believe in using songs to say things.

I don't fall in love easily, but when I do, I fall hard and I fall fast. So if you're not planning on catching me, don't make me fall for you.

"I'm strong, but I break. I'm stubborn, and I make plenty of mistakes. Yeah I'm hard, and life with me is never easy to figure out, to love, I'm jaded but oh so lovely... I'm confusing as hell. I'm north and south. And I'll probably never have it all figured out... " (lyrics from "Maybe" by Kelly Clarkson)

I love the rain. It's calming, soothing and makes me feel very content and at peace.

I love the woods. It's where I go for peace and quiet, to get away from the hustle and bustle of life and to distract myself from the chaos and confusion of humanity.

I tend to get along better with animals than I do people. People are judgmental, and animals will love you unconditionally. People hurt you, but animals have no end to their love. If you're looking for true love, look in the eyes of a dog or cat.

I bottle up my emotions and problems. I don't open up verbally to a lot of people, which is why it's far easier for me to write and sing about my problems and emotions than it is for me to verbally communicate them.

There are few people who I feel I can actually trust.

"It seems every time I find a good man, he's got a good little wife! I'm not jealous, but I won't lie, I don't wanna hear about your wonderful life!" (lyrics from "How I Feel" by Kelly Clarkson)

Sometimes I really wish I was a kid again, back in the days when: boys had cooties, you got "drunk" off of Capri Sun and Kool-Aid, you didn't care about watching your figure, working out was playing outside in the backyard all day long, and the only drama you had to deal with was if someone stole your crayons. I miss being a kid.

And now, time for some music! 

And here's a freebie.

Confession #6: I'm in love with the perfect guy... I just "Haven't Met You Yet"

So, it's been a while since I posted a confession, but school has been so brutal this semester that I just haven't had time to sit down and write something (well, I've written plenty of things... English papers mainly, hahaha.) Anyway, this confession is based on a song by one of my favorite male singers, Michael Buble (I'm just gonna go ahead and say it: OMG HE IS SO SEXY!!!!!!!! Ok, I'm done now.) So, this song is called "Haven't Met You Yet" and it's a song about a guy who just hasn't had any luck in the Love Department, but that he knows someday he'll be with the perfect girl. He just hasn't met her yet. I love this song, for two reasons:

A. Michael Buble has such a SEXY VOICE.
and,
2. The lyrics are very true, and I think this song is the perfect song for anyone who is still waiting to find that perfect person.

Lately, I've been thinking about love (yeah, I know, shocking right?). It's just, it seems like all my friends are either currently in a relationship with someone, or they're engaged or they're married now, and I can't help but wonder if I'll ever meet that perfect guy for me. My luck with guys has been horrible; every guy I know or who I'm friends with is either my ex, is in a relationship with some other girl, or they're gay or married. I'm hoping that when I go to Sam Houston next fall that I'll find my perfect guy, but it's hard to think about that now when I'm so lonely and wanting to be with someone right now. And that is why I love this song, because it gives me a little bit of hope that my guy IS out there... I just haven't met him yet :-)

My Crazy, Beautiful and Chaotic Life

So, for this post I decided to write an actual blog post instead of just posting a confession (at the moment, I am fresh out of confessions, hahaha.) Anyway, as the title says, my life has been crazy, beautiful and chaotic all at once lately. Crazy in the fact that I feel like I never get a moment to rest and relax, beautiful because I'm becoming more and more confident in dance, and chaotic because... well, I'm not going to go too much into detail about that, but trust me, it's been chaotic. School has really picked up in the last few weeks, but that's how it always is in the fall semester. As for grades, I don't really know where I stand in most of my classes, but I'm going to assume that if the teacher hasn't come up to me and told me that I'm failing, I figure I'm doing pretty good. As for choir, we have exactly 3 rehearsals left before our first concert of the semester, which is on October 25th.

As for dance, it seems like that's the only thing that I've been able to find any kind of solace, freedom and peace in lately. In the midst of all the craziness and chaos of my life lately, when I go to dance class or go audition for a student's dance piece, I find myself getting lost in the choreography, the music and the sheer movement of my own body. I've discovered this passion in me for dance that I never knew existed, or even thought I could have. Dance Performance class has really helped me come out of myself and express myself through dance, movement and choreography. It's given me a new found confidence in myself. Like I mentioned in one of my last few posts, I've started choreographing a dance to the song "Slow Me Down" by Emmy Rossum. I've gotten a lot more of it choreographed, but I still have a couple parts of the song where I have no idea what I'm going to do, but I'm sure the inspiration will strike me eventually. Also, another random thought. I'm thinking I might try to choreograph Katy Perry's "Firework". Been listening to that a lot lately and every time I listen to it, I suddenly have a vision of dancing to this song. So yeah, I'll probably be working on that soon as well.

As for the chaos in my life... Well, I don't wish to go into too much detail about it. Let's just say, I can't wait until I go to Sam Houston, but unfortunately, it looks like I'll be at Kingwood ANOTHER semester. I guess I can't complain too much because by staying another semester, this will give me a chance to take more dance classes before I audition for the Musical Theater department, because part of the audition is a dance audition. And, by staying another semester, this means I can audition for All State and if I get chosen to go, that means another fantastic trip to San Antonio! So yeah, it's not going to be so bad staying another semester, but I really, really, really, REALLY want and need to get out of Kingwood and actually start studying Musical Theater. But I guess that dream can wait another year...

Well, I guess that's enough for right now. Not sure when I'll post the next confession, or what it will be, but it will hopefully be sooner rather than later (I know I haven't been posting much lately. School has been KILLING me.) Anyway, until next time. Later!

Confession #5: I need "Someone to Fall Back On"

Ever have one of those days (or maybe many of days) where you feel that you're so alone? You might have lots of friends, a loving family, and a good life, and maybe, if you're lucky, everything is actually going the way you want it to. But still, you feel like you're alone, in spite of being surrounded by people who care about you. Some days all you want is to know that someone us there for you, through all the good, the bad and the ugly. I feel this way often; I am always surrounded by people who care for me and love me, but I still feel alone and want to know that there's that one person who will always be there for me, someone I can always rely on. Someone I can go to when the world is crashing around me, when the darkness is closing in on me and the demons and monsters are circling me, ready to strike. I think, deep down, everyone wants that; everyone needs to have a person like that.

On Saturday, the music department at Kingwood college put on it's "A Stellar Evening", a concert in which the music faculty performs for the public to raise money for the music scholarships. Eric Skiles, the head of the drama department, sang a song called "Someone to Fall Back On" from Jason Robert Brown's musical "Wearing Someone Else's Clothes", and I will be totally honest, folks, I almost started crying. Now, I am not the type of person who gets emotionally moved by a song too often, but this one nearly had me in tears. It was such a beautiful song, and I knew that when I got home that night I had to find it on youtube and post it on Facebook for everyone to enjoy. I wish that someday, the man who loves me, whoever he is, would sing this song for me, but then again, if a guy who loved me sang ANY song for me, I would marry him on the spot. Anyway, here's the song :-) ejoy!

Oh, and if you're wondering why I always have a song with all my posts, I have another confession to make: I believe in using songs to say things.

Confession #4: Some days I just want to "Slow Me Down"

Do you ever feel like you just need to slow down from the chaotic, busy world of schedules, agendas, plans, goals, meetings and all those other things that constantly fight for your attention? I do, more than people realize. This semester especially has been one where I've just wanted to stop the world, breath and relax. On Wednesday, I decided to go for a walk in a park in Kingwood, just to get away from it all, even if just for an hour. It was very refreshing, and I walked out of there and off to drama rehearsal feeling a little bit lighter and less weighed down by all my stresses. I wish I could do that more often, but my ever-changing schedule and daily life is so unpredictable that I just don't know when I would find time to take a breather and just be by myself. Don't get me wrong, I love all my friends and I love staying busy (it's better than being completely bored) but some days I just want to get away from it all and not have to think about anything, or worry about being on time to another rehearsal or anything else. I'm sure some of you, my dear readers, feel the same way at times.

Well, I came across this song on Friday while I was auditioning at my school for some dances for the end of semester dance performance. I danced 4 hours straight, with very few breaks and with no lunch (I'd eaten around 8:30 that morning and didn't get a chance to eat again until I got to work at the church at 6:15... yeah, I was exhausted and starving). The auditions were a lot of fun, and I actually got chosen to be in a hip-hop/contemporary/modern piece, so we'll see how this goes. Because of this, I was suddenly inspired to start choreographing my own dance to one of the songs that I heard at the dance auditions. I am quite excited about this :-) because of Dance Performance, I am now learning how to choreograph a dance and this class has given me so much more confidence in dancing by myself. So, I would like to share this song with you. I think a lot of you will really connect with this song and its lyrics, because I know that I'm not the only one out there who sometimes just wants to slow down and feels like their life is spiraling out of control because of a hectic, crazy and insanely busy schedule that constantly shifts and changes. Anyway, here you go! The song I am choreographing my dance to.

Confession #3: I LOVE POETRY BY ROBERT FROST

I didn't really start taking an interest in poetry until around my freshman year in high school. I can remember reading "The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe for the first time and I loved it. I do love Edgar Allen Poe's work as well; the darkness of his poetry and stories is what I find fascinating, but by far "The Raven" is my favorite of his works. Anyway, when I first ready Robert Frost's poem "The Road Not Taken", I immediately felt that this work was speaking to me personally. And so, when I had to pick a poem to analyze for my English class this semester, I was so happy to find "The Road Not Taken" in my literature book (my teacher wanted us to pick a poem from the book). I don't know if my teacher found my paper to be good enough, or if it followed the guidelines she gave us, but I enjoyed getting to read the poem and write about what I thought the words meant, what message I was getting from the poem. And then, I was even happier when I found that in Chamber Singers we were going to be singing a song based on another poem by Robert Frost called "Choose Something Like A Star", which is an absolutely GORGEOUS piece, and the poem itself is a work of art... well, in MY opinion, it is anyway. So, I would like to share with you, my dear readers, the songs that are based on these two beautiful works of art by Robert Frost. Enjoy :-)

Confessions #2: I LOVE THE MUSICAL 'WICKED' continued

I wanted to post some songs from 'Wicked' in my last post, but since the synopsis was so long I decided to put the songs in a separate post. So, here ya go! All the songs (in order) from 'Wicked' the musical. Yes, I know there's A LOT of songs, but trust me, they are all worth listening to :-)

Confessions #2: I LOVE THE MUSICAL 'WICKED'

So, it's probably already obvious, but I decided that I should make this clear: I. LOVE. 'WICKED'. In my opinion, it's the greatest musical of all time, or at least, the greatest musical of this decade. Based off of the novel by Gregory Maguire, 'Wicked' is basically the prequel to the beloved musical "The Wizard of OZ", which was based on the books by L. Frank Baum, and the music and lyrics for 'Wicked' were written by the world renowned composer and lyricist Stephen Schwartz. If you haven't seen 'Wicked' or heard of it, I highly recommend that you watch it. But, if you can't afford to go see a professional musical theater performance (like me. I've seen 'Wicked' twice, but the first time it was my mom who bought the tickets, and the second time it was my Sunday School teacher. I've never been able to afford to buy tickets for a professional show. Community theater is as cheap as it gets) then read the synopsis, which I happen to have right here for my dear readers to enjoy! So, here ya go! The story line for the musical 'Wicked'. (synopsis from Wikipedia.com)

Act I

While the citizens of Oz celebrate the death of the Wicked Witch of the West, Glinda descends onto the stage in her bubble to confirm the circumstances of the Witch's melting. She recalls that the green-skinned Elphaba was conceived during an affair between the erstwhile Munchkin Governor's wife and a mysterious stranger with a bottle of green elixir. Everyone was repulsed by Elphaba from birth, so Glinda asks the Ozians to empathize ("No One Mourns the Wicked"). The remainder of the plot forms an extended flashback through the events of Glinda's and Elphaba's lives.

At Shiz University, the pair first meet. Elphaba is hardly surprised that all the students, including the popular but shallow Glinda (then Galinda), revile her ("Dear Old Shiz"). The only reason that Elphaba is sent to Shiz is to take care of her beautiful, wheelchair-bound younger half-sister Nessarose, who is presented with a bejeweled pair of Silver Shoes, being her father's favorite. Despite Elphaba and Galinda's instant mutual loathing, Madame Morrible, Shiz's "headshiztress", makes them roommates. Galinda had been excluded from Madame Morrible's Sorcery Seminar, but when Elphaba reveals an innate magical talent in sudden anger, Morrible notes that her talents may be of use to the Wizard of Oz. Elphaba dreams of what she and the Wizard could accomplish together ("The Wizard and I"). Galinda and Elphaba later write home about their unfortunate room-mate assignments ("What is this Feeling?"). The students gather in a history class taught by Doctor Dillamond, a Goat and Shiz's only Animal professor, who keeps mispronouncing Galinda's name as "Glinda". After dismissing the class upon the discovery of an anti-Animal slogan on the blackboard, Doctor Dillamond confides in Elphaba that something is causing the Animals of Oz to lose their powers of speech ("Something Bad"). Elphaba believes that the Wizard is the only one who can help.

Fiyero, a Winkie prince, then arrives at Shiz and immediately impresses his own brand of mindless, cavalier and carefree living on the students ("Dancing Through Life"). Besotted with Galinda, a Munchkin named Boq asks her to accompany him to a party at the Ozdust Ballroom, but having felt "perfect together" with Fiyero, Galinda asks him to invite Nessarose instead. Later, Galinda discovers a black pointed hat in a box and gives it to Elphaba as a mock present. In return, Elphaba asks Madame Morrible to reconsider Galinda in her Sorcery Seminar. When, however, Elphaba arrives to the party wearing the hat, she is only ridiculed. Defiant, she proceeds to dance alone without musical accompaniment. Feeling guilty, Galinda joins her, marking the start of their friendship. Meanwhile, Boq convinces Nessarose that it was not pity that prompted him to ask her out, but the fact that she is "so beautiful", not realizing the full extent of Nessarose's affections towards him. Back in their dorm, Elphaba tells Galinda that her mother had been fed milk-flowers to prevent her second child from being born green-skinned; the milk-flowers instead caused Nessarose to be born crippled, while her mother died in childbirth. Feeling sympathetic, Galinda decides to give Elphaba a makeover, making her admirable to fellow students ("Popular"). The next day, Doctor Dillamond is abruptly taken away by Ozian officials. The new history teacher arrives with a caged lion cub as the subject of an in-class experiment, revealing that Animals are to be kept in cages and never to speak. Outraged, Elphaba and Fiyero steal the cub and set it free but when the two stumble upon feelings for each other, Fiyero leaves, embarrassed. Elphaba laments that someone like Fiyero could never love someone like her ("I'm Not that Girl"). Madame Morrible finds her, announcing that Elphaba has been granted an audience with the Wizard in the Emerald City.

At the train station, Galinda, Fiyero, Nessarose and Boq see Elphaba off, all happy for her. When it becomes apparent that Boq is not genuinely interested in Nessarose, Galinda feels guilty and suggests that Boq is not the right person for Nessarose, who in turn insists that it is herself "that's not right." Elphaba expresses concern about leaving her younger sister but protesting Nessarose insists she will manage without her and leaves. In an attempt to impress Fiyero, Galinda announces that she will change her name to "Glinda" in honor of Doctor Dillamond's persistent mispronunciation. Fiyero fails to notice and leaves. Glinda breaks into tears. Feeling bad for Glinda, Elphaba invites her along to see the Wizard. After a day of sightseeing in the Emerald City ("One Short Day"), Elphaba and Glinda meet the Wizard. Eschewing the special effects he employs for the benefit of most visitors, he invites Elphaba to join him ("A Sentimental Man"). As a test, he asks that Elphaba give his monkey servant, Chistery, the ability to fly using the Grimmerie – an ancient book of spells. Elphaba demonstrates an intrinsic understanding of the lost language contained in the book, and successfully gives Chistery wings. The Wizard then reveals a cage full of winged monkeys, proving the extent of Elphaba's powers, and remarks that they will make good spies to report any subversive Animal activity. Realizing that she has been used and that the fraudulent Wizard and Madame Morrible are responsible for the Animals in Oz losing their power of speech, a horrified Elphaba runs away with the Grimmerie, Glinda goes after her, pursued by the palace guards. She runs to the tallest tower, where they hear Madame Morrible declaring to Oz that Elphaba is a "Wicked Witch" and not to be trusted. Elphaba enchants a broomstick to fly and almost convinces Glinda to join her in her cause, but Glinda cannot resist the call of popularity as one of the Wizard's assistants, and refuses. Leaving Glinda behind and escaping the guards, Elphaba flies off towards the western sky, promising to fight the Wizard with all her power ("Defying Gravity").

Act II

A few years have passed and Elphaba's opposition of the Wizard's regime has earned her the title "The Wicked Witch of the West" (reprise of "No One Mourns the Wicked"). Rumor has it that the witch's soul is so impure that mere water could melt her. Glinda, now the Wizard's Press Secretary and adored by everyone, is pronounced engaged to Fiyero. Informing him that he has to accept the fact that Elphaba does not want to be found, Glinda puts on a happy front despite Fiyero's waning affections ("Thank Goodness").

Meanwhile, Elphaba arrives at her old home, the Governor's residence in Munchkinland, seeking refuge. Nessarose is the Governor now, and laments that her father "died of shame" after Elphaba rebelliously defied the Wizard. She criticizes Elphaba for not using her new-found powers to help her own sister. Guilty, Elphaba enchants Nessarose's jeweled shoes, turning them into the ruby slippers and enabling her to walk. Boq is summoned, and he bemoans that Nessarose is as "wicked" as Elphaba for stripping the Munchkins of their rights and prohibiting them from leaving Munchkinland. Nessarose explains that she did this to keep Boq with her, but is sure that he will stay with her of his own accord now that she is no longer crippled. However, Boq insists that he should now be free to pursue Glinda instead, going so far as to brandish a knife when his "Madame Governor" refuses to let him go. Hurt and angry, Nessarose attempts to cast a spell from the Grimmerie to make Boq lose his heart to her, but accidentally makes his heart shrink instead. While Elphaba attempts to save him, Nessarose reflects on how being "alone and loveless" has led to her wicked actions, and fears that she deserves her infamous new title ("The Wicked Witch of the East"). Elphaba says that nothing will ever be enough for her younger sister and leaves her for good, despite Nessarose's frantic pleas for her sister to stay. Boq is horrified to discover that Elphaba has transformed him into a Tin Man, so he could live without a heart, and a desperate Nessarose lays the entire blame on her sister while Boq runs away in horror.

Returning to the Wizard's palace, Elphaba tries to free the remaining winged monkeys. The Wizard attempts to regain her favor by agreeing to set them free, recounting how the Ozians hailed him as the Wonderful Wizard when he first came to Oz in a balloon from America. He explains that she could, likewise, be hailed by everyone if she joins him ("Wonderful"). Upon discovering the now-speechless Doctor Dillamond amongst the monkeys, however, Elphaba rejects his offer. While attempting to escape, she bumps into Fiyero, who runs away with her, confirming that he loves her in return. Glinda sees this and is crestfallen that she has been betrayed by those closest to her (reprise of "I'm Not that Girl"). When Glinda states that Elphaba can be lured by spreading a rumor that Nessarose is in danger, the fiendish Madame Morrible creates a cyclone that brings Dorothy's house to Oz and crushes Nessarose to death. While Fiyero and Elphaba express their love in a dark forest ("As Long as You're Mine"), Elphaba senses that her sister is in danger. Before she leaves Fiyero offers her a hiding place where she'll be safe. She flies off to help, but is too late, arriving just as Glinda sends Dorothy and Toto off along the Yellow Brick Road. The palace guards capture Elphaba, but Fiyero intervenes, allowing Elphaba to escape before surrendering himself. The guards take him to a nearby cornfield to be tortured until he tells them of Elphaba's whereabouts. At her castle, Elphaba tries to cast any spell she can to save Fiyero, but thinking she has failed, she begins to accept her reputation as "wicked" ("No Good Deed").

Dorothy, the Scarecrow, Boq – now the Tin Woodman – and the Cowardly Lion are sent to kill Elphaba ("March of the Witch Hunters"). It is revealed that the Cowardly Lion is the lion cub Elphaba set free; Boq claims that she turned him into a coward by not letting him fight his own battles. Meanwhile, Elphaba captures Dorothy, refusing to release her until she relinquishes Nessarose's ruby slippers – the only things left of her dead sister. Glinda travels to Elphaba's castle to warn her of the trouble and persuade her to let Dorothy go. Although Elphaba refuses, the two women forgive each other for all grievances, acknowledging they have both made mistakes. Elphaba makes Glinda promise not to clear her name and to take charge in Oz, allowing her to disappear. The two friends embrace for the last time before saying goodbye forever ("For Good"). Immediately after, when Dorothy throws a bucket of water on Elphaba, the witch appears to melt away. Glinda, not quite sure what has happened, sees that all that remains of her friend is her black hat and a vial of green elixir. Back at the Emerald City, Glinda reminds the Wizard that he has an identical bottle, and it is revealed that the Wizard is Elphaba's father, being the stranger whom her mother had an affair with. Madame Morrible surmises that Elphaba had special powers because she was a child of both Oz and the outside world. Glinda orders the Wizard to leave Oz in his balloon and sends Madame Morrible to prison, before preparing to face the citizens of Oz, returning to the opening scene of the show.

Meanwhile, Fiyero had in fact been turned into the Scarecrow when Elphaba had cast spells, therefore saving him from the Ozian guards' spears in the cornfield. He opens a trap door in Elphaba's castle, down which she had descended, only pretending to die for the benefit of the others. While Elphaba and Fiyero leave Oz forever, Glinda continues her bittersweet celebration with the citizens of Oz. They gaze up at the sky, individually appreciating their true friendship and acknowledging that they have changed for the better because they knew each other ("Finale").

Confessions #1: I LOVE BARBRA STREISAND

Okay, so for this blog I'm going to do it like this; every post will be a confession of some kind. And the first confession is... I love Barbra Streisand. No, no homo, hahaha. I love Barbra Streisand's music. She, in my opinion, is one of the greatest singers and actresses is the world. I came to know about Barbra Streisand through first seeing her movie "Hello, Dolly!" and I instantly fell in love with the sound of her voice. She's such a beautiful woman, and her voice is so gorgeous. Some people are a little taken back when I tell them that one of my favorite singers is Barbra Streisand, probably because she's a much older singer, one that mainly the older generations would listen to or would even know who she is. Most people my age have never heard Barbra Streisand, and some have never even heard of her before, which is sad, because I think everyone should listen to her. Her style of singing has greatly influenced me and my singing, and I would love to someday meet her.

So, here's a couple songs by Barbra! Please forgive me, but I just love her so much! I want to share her music with the world!

And now, 2 of my favorite duet songs with Barbra Streisand :-)

New Blog! YAY! :-)

Yes indeed, my dear readers! I have decided to stick around Blogger! WordPress is nice, but it is WAY too complicated to try and figure out how to design and customize a blog, so I decided to stick with Blogger, which is much simpler in customizing blogs. Anyway, the first week of school is done, and I've got a 3-day weekend! It's Labor Day weekend, so I don't go back to school until Tuesday, which means I'm going to wake up on Monday morning, and freak out if it's past 7:00 in the morning because I'll think that I'm going to be late for school. But I've still got a lot of work to do this weekend; got 2 chapters of math to do, and 2 quizzes to take before Monday, and I've got to read the first 7 chapters for Music Lit class. It won't take me long to read for Lit, but the math could take me a while, so I'm going to do that tomorrow and Sunday and on Monday I'll read for Lit. So far, I like all my classes (except for math, but I'm not going to complain too much. I'd rather be taking this Liberal Arts math online than be in College Algebra. I would never pass that class.)

Anyway, that's all I'm going to post for now. I'm sure I'll get more blogging done over the weekend. Until next time, ciao!