So... let's be honest, 2013 was definitely my year. I don't mean that to sound selfish, but in a way, it was. I finally had a year where only good things happened to me. I finally had a year where I can look back on it and smile, knowing that not a single horrible thing happened to me. I finally got everything I've ever wanted: a husband who loves me and cares for me deeply, and going to the school of my dreams (even if I'm not majoring in what I really wanted to.) Yeah, there were a few bumps along the way; lost some friends (or people who I thought were friends) and made a few new ones but most importantly, I found out who my true friends are. And to me, I would much rather have a few true friends than a bunch of people who claim to be my friends.
Now that 2014 is here, I have a few things to look forward to, mainly auditions and continuing on with school. I have four auditions at school coming up in about two weeks and I still need to work on memorizing my monologues (at least I have them picked out, so the hardest part is done) and then just focus on getting through another semester. As far as summer plans go, haven't figured that out yet. I would like to volunteer at an animal shelter, but that's the only thing I have thought of so far. I am trying to not think about/worry about things that are too far ahead in the future; I'm trying to learn to take things slowly and just focus on what I can right now, or in my case, for the upcoming semester. I have a tendency to think too much about/worry too much about the future and things that are too far out of my control, so I'm wanting to take things slowly, one step at a time, and save myself from unnecessary stress.
If you've read my last couple posts about learning to "Let It Go", then you probably already know what some of my new year's resolutions are. But I don't want to think of them as "new year's resolutions"; I want to think of them as life resolutions; things I want/need to do for the rest of my life, things I need to change about myself, but that I know will take much more than a single year to resolve. And I think that's okay. I think it's okay to not try to make big life changes in a single year. It's one thing to resolve to lose 15/20 pounds in a year or in six months; it's something else entirely when you want to change your entire thought process/behavior/personality in a year to six months. To me, that's far too much pressure. Better to know that you need to change and to make conscious efforts throughout the years to make those changes happen.
One thing I'm going to do this year is start with me. I have a lot of personal changes I need to make, but in order to make those changes, I have to be willing to be open about my struggles and challenges so that I can learn from them, change them and grow. There's a lot of things in this world that could be changed if people just focused on changing themselves to think different, to respond differently, to be more open and honest with themselves and with others. This world would be a much better place if everyone stopped pointing fingers, name calling and blaming others and just focused on themselves and change themselves for the better.
So, whatever your new year's resolution is, whether it's to lose weight/get healthy, get out of debt/be more conscious with your finances, go back to school, get a better, more fulfilling job, quit smoking/drinking, whatever it is, do it for you. Don't do it because your parents/friends/family say you should, don't do it because "everyone else is doing it"; do it for you. Do it because YOU want to, or because, deep down, you know you really need to. If it's losing weight you want to do, do it because you want to feel better and look better for you; not for your parents, not for your friends, not for your husband/wife, not for your kids, not for anyone but you. Do it for your own personal health. Do it so that you can feel better about yourself. Do it because you love yourself, which is hard to do, I know. But above all else, you need to do it for you, because loving your body and taking care of it is the best thing you could ever do for yourself and for those who love you and want to spend many happy years with you. The same thing goes for if you're wanting to quit smoking or drinking. ALL OF THAT APPLIES TO YOU TOO. Do it for yourself and for your own personal health. Trust me, your body will thank you later.
And now, here's Mr. Michael Jackson. This song is basically what I want to live by for the rest of this year and all the years to come.
