24 Confessions for my 24th Birthday

My 24th birthday was on Sunday, May 11, Mother's Day. In honor of this, I've decided to write out twenty-four confessions that people may or may not know about me. And so, without further ado, here's twenty-four confessions about me.

1. I once tried to be a vegetarian. That didn't last long. 
2. I tried hooka once. I inhaled instead of exhaling, which made me choke on it. I didn't try that again. 
3. I play violin, and was in the Jackson Symphony Orchestra (JSO) for the few years we lived in Michigan, as well as taking violin lessons.
4. When I was little, I wanted to be a veterinarian and a Power Ranger. 
5. I cut my hair several times when I was little. Those haircuts never turned out very well. 
6. I never played any sports when I was younger. The closest things I ever did to sports was swim lessons and roller skating. I wasn't interested in sports.
7. I didn't have a lot of friends for the few years I was in public school, or at least, I don't remember having many friends, because I always wanted to put on shows and singing performances, and the other kids didn't want to do that. 
8. I actually had my first alcoholic drink a few weeks before my 21st birthday. I was at a party with my choir college friends. 
9. I've been drunk three times, but I've never had a hangover or thrown up while drunk. I have, however, done some things while drunk that I'm not proud of (but haven't we all?)
10. I believe in ghosts, the supernatural, demons, spirits, angels, and basically anything related to the paranormal, including aliens. Basically, I believe that unexplainable things can and do happen.
11. I don't claim to belong to any particular political party, and at this point in my life I am pro-choice, but I'm still unsure where exactly I stand on gay marriage, although I do support my LGBT friends. 
12. I am a believe in Jesus Christ and while I do claim to be a Christian, obviously there are some things I do have a different opinion and belief in that goes against general Christian doctrine. 
13. I don't believe that Christianity is the only "right" religion; all religions have their place in the spiritual realm and all have different aspects of them that I believe have significance. 
14. I love photography and would love to start my own photography business once I get training. 
15. I want to learn some form of martial arts and I want to try kickboxing. 
16. One time I was sexually assault at a Halloween party by an older man. His wife and daughter were just around the corner. I managed to get away before he could go any farther.
17. At 21 I gave my virginity to a man I was madly in love with.
18. The last three relationships I was in were with guys who were music majors, either instrumentalists or vocalists. Only one of those relationships ended with both of us on good terms. 
19. The thought of having kids scares the f*%#ing s@$t out of me. While most of my friends are getting married and having babies, I have no desire to have kids. I'm tired of being told "Oh you'll change your mind soon!", "Motherhood is such a joy!", "Your biological clock is ticking!" and worst of all, "If you don't have kids, you'll regret it when you're older." So, I'm going to get on my soap box for a minute, because I have something to say and I'm not going to say it again. DON'T. TELL. ME. HOW. TO. LIVE. MY. LIFE. It's MY body, MY life, and MY decision. Yes, my husband's opinion does matter, but he also respects me enough to know that an important decision like this is something that shouldn't be taken lightly and that if I don't feel ready or don't think it will be the best decision for both of us, he understands and respects that. Please respect me enough to not try and push your agenda on me, because the more people try to push, the more resistant I will become. I have my reasons for not wanting kids, and if you're really concerned about my reproductive activities you can ask me yourself. Rant over. 
20. I have an older brother and older sister, neither of which I have ever had a good relationship with. Sometimes I wonder if they wish I had never been born, then maybe they would be happier.
21. Because I was home schooled, many people thought I would miss out on all the social activities of being in a public school system, or that I would be socially awkward, or not have a lot of friends. I am one of the most social people I know, and yes, to an extent I am socially awkward, but that's because I'm a theate major, and while I used to have a lot of friends back in high school, I have lost a lot of them over the years, but I guess that's just part of growing up. 
22. I often feel very isolated from the world, mostly because I don't have a lot of friends to do stuff with anymore; they've all gone off to other schools or are getting ready to go to other schools, and my biggest fear is that I will lose my only best friend (besides Eric) once she goes away to school too, but what's worse is that I already feel like I'm losing her.
23. I hate math. Enough said. 
24. Being on stage and performing in front of people is the only place that I feel I can truly be myself. When I'm on stage, whether singing or acting, I feel that the stage is the safest place in the world. It's the only place where I can let myself feel all my emotions deeply and where I can share those emotions and feelings with everyone, because there is someone in that audience who needs to know that I understand how they feel, and that they are not alone in their feelings, and that it is okay to feel that way. I believe Oscar Wilde said it best: "I regard the theatre as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being."